Forget inter office: 3 Replacements You Need to Jump On
I had the opportunity to attend a workshop with Jeff Atwood ( a well-known author/professor/teacher specializing in the concepts of emotional intelligence and the science of human behavior. This course was based around the idea that we all have a number of self-awareness levels that we can have.
Jeff said that in the beginning of this course, we were given a video of how one person’s behavior was so different from another person’s, that we were all given to understand how much of this was based on human difference. I thought this was a cool idea. However, I was concerned that this would make us all more aware of our own behavior and more aware of how much we really do change.
The more I think about it, the more I realize that we’ve all been brought up with this idea of the “loud personality” and “quiet personality”. This idea has been reinforced in our society for so long, that we believe that we are so much more like our parents, that we don’t really give these different personalities any thought. We just feel like we are good looking. Or whatever.
The fact is, it can actually be the opposite. We think if we are not really quiet, or not loud, we’re going to be boring. But, in reality, we actually don’t have to be loud to be boring, because we are both. The person who doesnt give a crap about your company, or your job, or your life, or your feelings, or anything, and is just a mean, obnoxious, self-centered person is boring.
I’ve often thought we were all just boring, but in reality, we were all actually pretty mean.
It sounds like a stereotype, but being a mean person actually comes with a lot of perks. One of those perks is a lot of time spent being self-indulgent, which I think is what makes us so annoying. You can go out to the mall, and you can buy a dress, but you can also take an entire day to do nothing.
Self-indulgence comes in when we do things for ourselves because we want to do them. For example, if you have a full-time job and you’re tired of being the guy who gets to order takeout for the office. Or you have a good girlfriend, or a job at the company that pays you the most money, and you want to do something else.
The problem is that we usually have to be working to feel the same way we have to feel the same way we feel. So when we go out to the mall and buy a dress, we spend so much money, we need to go out and buy that dress.
So we ask that question of ourselves, “Is this something I could feel as a part of my life?” And most people say, “Yeah!” because they’ve spent so much money and they’ve had time to fill. But if you have an income and you can’t afford it, you can’t feel like it’s something you want to do.
What I mean is that we need to buy things to feel as we feel. We need to feel that we are buying something because of the money it cost us, and it is because of the money it cost us, that we feel compelled to buy. We need to feel that we are buying something because it has a value. We can either do this by doing things that are very expensive, or we can do this by buying things that are less expensive.